| ||
| ||
|
|
|
| |
|
Co-Dependency and Food: Trying to Fill the Void
Nice girls don't speak up. Nice girls take care of and support others. These are just a few of the messages girls often receive as they are socialized. Often in adulthood, these ingrained messages turn into full-blown co-dependency. Years can go by. Unmet needs build up energy; they demand attention. But without learning skills in setting boundaries, letting others feel their own pain and making oneself a priority, food often becomes the hassle-free, soothing balm to take the edge off and release that pent up energy momentarily, that is until the guilt sets in. We are in one of the following roles when we are co-dependent - victim, rescuer or persecutor. Following are a few examples of how these roles play out in our relationship with food: Victim: You eat too much food. You gain weight and then can't eat what you want. No matter what you do, what diet you try, you can't lose weight. No matter how you eat, you seem to continue to gain weight, feeling worse and worse. Rescuer: The dessert makes you feel better, especially the chocolate. It makes you feel loved. You feel comforted and nurtured when you eat certain foods. You reward yourself with food over the smallest perceived successes. Or someone may rescue you when you claim you can't lose weight. "You've tried hard. It's not working for you. Go ahead and eat it. You're not losing weight anyway. You can try that new diet tomorrow." Persecutor: You're great at beating up on yourself. No matter what you do, you can't lose weight. Your tortured thoughts go something like this: "I'm never going to lose this weight; it's too hard to lose weight. I hate myself because I can't control my eating. I hate myself because I'm not following this diet perfectly. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I hate myself." How do you get out of your co-dependent relationship with food? First, pay attention to your thoughts - I mean really notice. What are you saying to yourself about food, your body, your weight, yourself? Likely you'll find that you wouldn't say those things to your worst enemy. Secondly, write those thoughts down. Ask yourself if any of your thoughts are really true about you or do they come from unconscious, past patterns. Next, ask yourself if you wish to continue to believe these thoughts. If not, forgive yourself for believing them and replace those thoughts with the ones you want. It goes like this. My thoughts: I always eat too potato chips, and I can't lose weight. I'm so spineless. Are my thoughts true? I don't always eat too many potato chips. I've been eating dessert, which is probably why I can't lose weight. It's not the potato chips. I don't know why I said I'm spineless. I'm not. Why do I eat so many potato chips? When I ate them today, it was after that conversation with my friend. I felt angry. The crunch of the potato chips helped me feel less angry. Now that I think about it, I eat potato chips a lot when I'm angry. Do I want to continue believing my thoughts? No. I forgive myself for eating potato chips to swallow my anger. I forgive myself for calling myself spineless. New thoughts: When I'm angry next time, I'm going to express my anger appropriately and talk with the other person. I'm not going to eat potato chips. I can lose weight. I am successful in losing weight. Learn to listen to yourself and not rely on outside cues for what you may or may not think and feel. It's not selfish to meet your real needs directly. When you meet your true needs, food is no longer a bandage. Then you can freely choose whether or not to eat that particular food without the intensity of unmet emotional needs. It's about valuing yourself and making decisions and choices that honor your value. New thinking will support your weight loss efforts. About The Author Zo Houseman is the author of Live Lightly! that describes how she lost 100 pounds and kept it off by learning to think differently. Read free excerpts. More information and resources are available at http://www.setyourheartfree.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Is There a New Fat Loss Miracle on the Horizon? For the past several years one subject has been coming up quite often and has really started to be quite a hot topic. The subject is a fat known as CLA which stands for Conjugated Linoleic Acid. To Lose Weight or Not to Lose Weight... A Guideline for Men! To begin this article I must start with it's conclusion. The decision for a woman to lose her extra childbearing weight is between her doctor and herself. Nutrition Bars The Diet Dilemma. Why Diets Dont Work Let's face when it comes to overweight and obesity there are 2 basic facts we have to take into account. First, dieting is a huge industry. Nutrition Bars Signature Lines on Weight Loss Websites A reader recently wrote to ask why I don't include my weight statistics in my signature line. A great observation and excellent question. Weight Loss, Exercise, and Bodybuilding Tips ? Keeping Your Body-Fat Low: Part 7 of 10 People usually quit weightloss and exercise programs for one of two reasons: boredom or lack of results, maybe even both! I cannot explain this, nor did I learn this in a classroom, but twenty years in the field proves it to me all the time- after about ten weeks the body starts catching onto what your workout will consist of that day. I believe that your body knows after awhile exactly what you are going to put it through, adapts to it and stops progress. Nutrition Bars 2 Ways to Start Burning fat Quickly 1. Start Exercising first thing in the morning. Relax The Back Office Chairs 3 Simple Weight Loss Tips from the Pros Tip 1) DRINK A GLASS OF WATER AFTER EACH SNACK This will help you get in your 8 to 10 glasses of water each day but it can also have other benefits. Ever feel hungry after eating a handful or standard serving of nuts? Try drinking water afterwards. Healthy Recipes for Low Carb Success Using healthy low carb recipes are an important part of your diet success, just as it's important to remember to drink enough water helping your body to remove the byproducts of the fat burning process. A healthy recipe provides you with the other essential nutrients, vitamins and minerals that you need to feel as good as you look.  Weight Loss For Beginners Getting into a weight loss program or any type of dieting is intimidating for a beginner. Better health is something that we should all work towards, and be bold about.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
